Update

Familia,

HOLY SCHNIEKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am obsessed with AZ. Literally. Obsessed. Holy mackeral where do I begin because it's literally been a year since we last spoke (I'm obviously exaggerating, but not really). Okay, my compa is Hna Falcon and she is from Mexico City =]. Oh yeah, the only time I speak English is when I'm in the VC. Life rocks. Okay, my first impression of the Mesa AZ VC haha I thought it was like the Jurassic Park (only desert) section of Universal Studios, the temple looked like one of the buildings you go into to ride a roller coaster. I swear I'm living on a movie set or something. The desert is too perfectly laid out and I dunno haha, but it's legit beautiful. I'm already obsessed with it. Oh and my first night I ate something, none of the native sisters knew what it was either, but it rocked my world, and had homemade horchata and I'm obsessed with Spanish people. Legit. It's so nice to finally greet people by kissing them on the cheek and not have them think you're some psycho...white people. Haha I probably need a Spanish name, because everyone sees my name and their eyes get big and can never pronounce it, which slays me.

Okay, so Heavenly Father is quite the jokester. He obviously wants to teach me certain things, like patience. Heaven bless my soul I need that. 25% of the time I have no idea what Hna Falcon has said to me and I stare blankly at her, and she just stares back at me until she realizes I'm retarded. Perfect. Oh, fun story. First day, Pres. Ellsworth tells me that I am going to be driving. This is apparently a rare privilege because the senior companion or the trainer, aka Hna Falcon, always drive but she's from Mexico and doesn't have a license. So lo and behold I inherited the sacred privilege of driving and the 2 senior couples were grilling me on my past driving record and said that I was not allowed to have a lead foot yada yada yada. Parents, I have never driven the speed limit in my entire life except for right now. It's not too difficult being the speed limit is usually 35 MPH and I have no idea where I'm going all the time. Haha, I told Hna Falcon I suck with directions and she said she does too. So imagine us as a pair driving around, she telling me directions, in Spanish hahahahahahahaha. Ohhh man, grace of God that we get to any of our appointments on time because derecho and derecha sound the same when spoken at 100 mph. But I am quickly learning Spanish=]. Let's hope so at least. What's also a kick is that everytime we go to an appointment I literally cannot understand a blessed word that is being spoken. And the reason for that is because these people literally speak at 100 mph. I kid you not. My poor ears have not been properly trained, but they will get there and I will one day be able to contribute to the lessons in a useful way haha. No but Hna Falcon is literally my hero. She is humble, diligent, obedient, she's just hard-working and is kind and follows the Spirit, she's basically a perfect missionary and everyone tells me how blessed I am to have her as my compa. And it's true. I'm gonna learn a ton from this sweet angel.

I learned an hour ago, from Hna Falcon, that I am not allowed to wear a ponytail for the rest of my mission (unless I'm on a bike). I had to clarify in both languages just to make sure I heard her correctly. And it's because I'm a VC sister. Heavenly Father obviously knows how little I care about my appearance and is taking special precautions to make sure I look professional and presentable on this sweet mission of mine. But family, I am a-okay with it, because I LOVE the VC. Holy cow the spirit there is like a brick wall. We proselyte half the day and do a 3 hour shift at the VC for the other part of the day and it makes my day every time. I love giving tours and meeting people and helping strengthen them in whatever they need in their lives. And I was a bit iffy on phones at first (we take calls from Mormon.org too apparently) because I felt like a solicitor, but a baby miracle happened 2 days ago. Actually a lot of miracles happened this week, but I'll relate 2. Okay, so I had 5 mins left on the phones and this guy from Minnesota calls in and just says "I want a BOM" and I was like great give me your address and i hung up. Yeah I am so dumb. And I realized I was an idiot so I called him back and got his name and then we chatted for like 5 mins about him and his interest in the BOM yada yada and he was like "You sound like a really nice person" and i said "you do too, bless your soul" and he laughed and i asked him if he wanted to talk with me when he received his book of mormon and we could just chat about the BOM and what he's reading and I could help clarify jazz for him and he so wanted to and I was like BOMB because now I have a phone investigator, and that's bomb=] OH guess who was my first visitor here at the VC? Sister Ernst=] NBD. anyhoo, I am out of time, but I committed Santiago to baptism and he accepted and came to church yesterday and he's golden and super humble and loves the BOM and I love him and I don't even know who he is cause I've met him like twice, but who cares right?

Basically, the field is bomb, the mission is joyous, I have NO clue what I'm doing which I love (strange enough) and the gospel is true=].

That's about it for this week fam-fam, love ya mucho cuidanse! Hna Schwartz (or shwars as properly pronounced in spanish;) )

VC Love

Familia, holy schniekes this week has felt like a century.

Business: i depart tuesday, the 6th at 5 am and my flight id at 8:30, so you will get to talk to me on the phone sometime during then, so be sure to have your phones charged and ready. oh and my mission home address in AZ is 6265 N 82nd st, scottsdale, az, 85250, usa, so you can send my mail and jazz there after tuesday.

Monday-Wednesday Hna Turner and I had to wake up at 3:45 to ship off Hna Turner and Cole and do morning service. Wed we started our visitor's center training and let's just say we didn't look so incredibly rough that they changed our calls to serving regular missions. But on wednesday, I rode in a CAR for the first time in what 2 years? and we went to SLC Temple Visitor's Center, got a tour by some sick sisters and basically it rocked my world. Holy cow. I have fallen in love with visitor's centers. there is so much crap that goes down that no one even has a clue about!!!!!

So part of visitor's center training is that we get put in a room with a ton of people, then they give us 5 minutes to get to know someone on a deep personal level, discern their needs, and then powerfully teach a lesson accustomed to their needs and leave them with a compromise (or some sort fo promised action for the future, like pray to know god exists,e tc). nbd. They basically ask me to talk to people, and with the size of my mouth i'm a pro. Except that i still need to work on getting to know them on a deep profound level and not surface level, which is tougher but i love the challenge. But here's the part that absolutely rocks my world: WE TEACH PEOPLE ONLINE VIA CHAT. the church is SO BOMB and SO ON TOP OF THINGS. hardcore. So mormon.org has this thing where you can chat with an online representative (aka VC sisters, aka ME), and the incredible thing is that we teach them lessons, and they can become our online investigators and we prep them for baptism. OH HOT SLAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! it's absolutely wild and incredible and rocks my world. Not only do I use my first name Agent[Rachel] to talk with these people but i'm literally teaching people all over the world. it's unreal. Yesterday, hna turner and i taught this lady in uruguay(oh yeah in spanish, rock solid), a guy in chile, a guy in denmark and a guy in jersey. Okay, story time: Denmark man- starts off with my family is strict muslim but i've been meeting with the missionaries and i want to be baptized, but i'm dependent on them financially and they will disown me if i get baptized, but i know i need to get baptized and i want to because it's what god wants from me and i want to follow the path god has given me, yada yada. how do i tell me family i want to get baptized. hardcore awesome. the guy from jersey, ronny, asked us about this article some byu prof just sent out about blacks and he was asking us why they weren't allowed to have the priesthood before the 70's. go figure he's black, goes to fsu, and the way to convo was going he was getting upset(like i haven't dealt with that before, pobre hna turner was freakin out) and so i asked him "are you a part of any faith?" and he said nope, i just don't know how to choose a church. gold. we turned the convo around, taught him about the restoration of the church and IT WAS CRAZY!!!!!!! oh my freakin word, so part of our chat is that we can see what the person is writing before they send it and we literally saw his heart soften during our chat, he would start writing really offensive and rude defensive things but he would delete them and ask something completely diff and believe it or not i actually felt like i was teaching with the spirit VIA CHAt. do you know how rad that is? and i get to do that everyday for the rest of my mission. SO HARDCORE.

Tuesday night devotional Elder Holland came, and basically that means my world got rocked hardcore (he's one of the apostles of the church). Pulpit pounding, check. Basically he said if you're going to come back from your mission and regress to the exact same person you were then you failed your mission, you did something wrong. And you know what, he's right. I feel that applies to anything we do in life. If we choose to go through something challenging and life changing and then learn nothing from it, remain the same person we were before we went through that experience, then what was the point? The whole point of life is to constantly be progressing and becoming the person you want to be. If you're not doing things in your life that's making you into the person you know you have the potential to become, then something is wrong, you're failing life. This mission is already helping me see my flaws and strengths and helping my mold myself into the person I know I have the potential to become. It's freaking hard, and I straight up love it. If I come back from my mission and you don't see an obvious change within me, then I would have failed. So expect change, and don't be freaked out (Mom) when I say i'm going to change. It's more along the lines of just becoming a better version of my self, and that's sweet action. I'm super pumped to be heading out to Mesa VC. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that is EXACTLY where I need to be, there are people there that only I will be able to teach and reach their hearts, there are experiences I need to have there and shoot I am ready to be shipped out for service.

THE MISSION IS ZE BESSSTTTTT!!!!!!

Los quiero!! hna schwartz

Look at that Jew in her boots

Yes family, that is a direct quote from Hermana Turner. Apparently she meant to say "Look at you in your boots" but I promise you that is not how it came out.

Business first: Berto has mailed me and I must say it has been the absolute best letter I;ve ever received. And I have received my fair amount of top notch letters from folks. If a letter could go viral, then Berto's has in the MTC. His special valentine=spread amongst not only my district but Souer Reintjes' french district as well. His letter has provided my compas and I with quotes for the rest of the week, our personal fav: "They always see you feel as good as you look, but since I basically look like Brad Pitt everyday, i never worry." The entire MTC gym had the pleasure of me  reading his letter aloud and we created a tv show called "Brett's World" it has a theme song and all. Golden stuff. Taxes- I would contact my old work, BYU Police department: Traffic my boss is Steve Messick but you'll probably want to get ahold of Katrina, just call BYU info and they will be able to connect you and they should have all of my tax info. Hna Tamsyn Turner and Hna Rachel McCullough, both are mailbox #127 (same as mine, we share), but i would prefer if only you and mom and brett would send letters cause i don't want them thinking i sent out a mass email of pity about them. Ma, I'm glad that you get paid to play mahjong, isn't that what delta's all about? Thanks for the addresses! Faja, everyone loved the dictionary, especially the elders.

The best way I could describe this week as would be "slap happy." There has been many a time when Hno Painter has caught me in a laughing fit/me doing something retarded. I don't know why but EVERYTHING has been absolutely hilarious this week. So my district got travel plans this week, which means this is our final week together which is basically super depressing, but i haven't really thought about it. Oh, Dad, there are some elders flying throught he atlanta airport who want to hang out with you while they wait for their flights, if you're interested in doing this lemme know and i'll let you know their flight schedules. I would like to take a moment and talk about how much I adore my alternative companions; Elders Wright and Gardener. They're the zone leaders and since i'm coord sis, we get to be compas during meetings and orientations etc. They are my fav=] We would be friends in real life and the best part is when I make hna turner mad when i say how much i love my real compas, the elders. hahaha she hates me.

The success of the week: MY NAME GOT CALLED ON THE LOUDSPEAKER: 3 TIMES!!!!!!!!! I've had one dream, one desire since being here at the MTC, and that was to have my name announced on the loudspeaker which goes throughout the entire MTC: after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My elders have had the blessing of being called 4 times and every time i may or may not have become unrationally upset and demanded to know why. I've asked many an mtc employee how to accomplish this (lose things, pres of mtc wants to meet with you, travel plans, dry cleaning needs to be picked up), and i've been wondering if my compas would do a service activity for me and steal my name tag and give it to the front desk without me knowing, but none of the above had occurred. And then, on Tuesday night after devotional, i was helping this new sister who had just flwon in from Sydney, AUS  get accomodated etc (she's presh btw) and when i get back into the room hna cole (who had earlier lost the aussie sister) very scattered brainedly told me" hna schwartz i don't know what i did but you're name got called on the loudspeaker for our floor saying they needed you and i'm sorry" and i was like "hna cole are you on crack? are you sure my name was called on the loudspeaker on our floor?" and she said yeah and so i went to the hall phone and talked to the front desk and they said i had lost my scriptures. funny story, i was holding my scriptures in my hands and i assured them i was holding them in my hands and then a thought popped into my head "Huh, i bet i left my spanish Book o mormon at the deovtional because i had brought it to read before choir practice" and i asked the lady if they were in spanish and she said yes and told me to come get them. GLORY BE MINE! no way was i going to go straight away and pick them up, my name had only been announced on the loudspeaker of the 4th floor of where i live, no one else heard it but those random chicks. So I milked all the rest of the next day=] My name got called tat breakfast and i fistpumped with joy and got applause from a table of elders. Lunch=name called. Dinner= name called. And i fist pump everytime and make my entire table shut up to hear my name. During planning session at 9pm=name called, and i then took the walk of fame and glory down my hallway with my entire district congratulating me as i walked to pick up my forgotten scriptures. I've been a pretty big deal this week, because during devo the camera guy zoomed in on my face during the choir performance, and then my name was called for a day straight. NBD.

I know you may think that's a really pointless and long story, but I've literally had dreams about my name getting called on the loudspeaker, so yeah. The other day I was alone (in the restroom, the only place of solace) and I just thought all of a sudden "I love being a missionary. There is abs9olutely nothing else I would rather be doign with my life right now than this." and then I looked at me wearing my nametag in the mirror and got this fatty smile on my face, and then i felt awkward cause i was smiling at myself and i rejoined my compas. But honestly, this is the best life ever! Yesterday was our final lesson with Ivelisse and i straight up committed her to baptism and the spirit bore this hardcore testimony through me and she cried and i teared up and she said yes she'd get baptized in 3 weeks and dude. Hard core. So pumped. I have been super blessed with having the spirit teach through me this week. I literally have said things to my investigators this week that has been perfect for the lesson and i don't even remember what i said, because it wasn't me, it was the spirit. and it's because i've chilled, and i've started focusing on my investigators and what they need and not just teaching alesson but really figuring out what they need to hear and just being open to whatever happens, but still perparing myself. ugh so bomb. hot slam this work is freaking ill.

love ya, have a sick week=]

Hna Schwartz

A Very MTC V-DAY

Oh familia,

Ma, you're cookies were bomb. I literally haven't tasted real flour, sugar, butter, and pink dye in centuries. The cookies came in one piece and the elders in my district literally devoured them in less than 5 seconds. Thanks for the loss of sleep I know you had to make them, they were superb! The only other business for today is I need the lakips, uncle ronl, aunt grace, etc (look at last email) addresses to send them letters. Shanks. is berto even getting these emails? if not, put him on the list and if he is text him 8 times today and tell him to contact me, whether it be by carrier pigeon or whatnot.

Alright, Vday got cray cray here at the MTC, or at least in my district. Elder Vazquez left 2 days, and 2 days ago he asked me if I could ship out a package for him because he was going to be gone(that's pretty normal for peeps to ship others stuff esp when they leave at 3 in the morn). I didn't fully understand why he was asking me of all people, but i said sure nbd. On Vday i go to my desk in our classroom and see a box. I figure it's elder vazquez's. It's open and I immediately smell a strong stench of cologne(one that is less than desirable) coming from it and see the box is decorated with hearts and there are different candies inside. On top of these candies is a letter that says cheesy things for each candy (ex. Hot Tamales, remind me of you because you're so hot, yada yada). Oh, i guess i should mention this box isn't for me it's for a different hermana here, one i don't know. just so ya know. Then in between the candies is a second letter and this one is equally decorated with hearts and cologne and basically is this elder saying how vday is his fav holiday and he's never been alone on it before and how if they both weren't missionaries he would tell her everyday how beautiful she is and how he's sorry he ever made her feel awkward and what a great missionary she's going to be. WHO ARE YOU? Long story short, he's a foolio for thinking i would ship that crap to anyone, much less an hermana here in the mtc. my district enjoyed the candies that reminded him of her eyes.

Alright last devo more or less changed my life. basically rocked my world and here is what it was all about "Turn outward, when others would turn in." What does that mean you might ask? Basically whenever we feel like being selfish, or mopey, or frustrated, angry, sad, hopeless, etc. turn outward and focus on others. If there's one thing i've learned while being on this mission it's that this mission is not about me. It's about the people in Mesa that i'm going to be serving. It's about helping them change their lives for the better and helping them find true joy and happiness and if i get annoyed with my companion i need to get over myself and see my companion as the person they truly are. See people for who they truly are and loving them regardless of their natural faults. Bomb.

Remember Ivelisse, the investigator who rocked my core last week? Holy schniekies. LOVE HER. our first lesson with her this week i'm committing her to pray to know if the things we are teaching her are true, and do you know what she says? "I know everything you've said is true, i know you're not lying to me. it;'s just all new especially coming from my catholic upbringing. but i know what you are telling me is true" WHAT THE FREUD!!!! and then our second lesson with her this week she brought us valentine's candy! she is golden. literally amazing. holy mackeral. and do you know what else has been sweet action this week? I think i'm finally being able to show my personality in spanish. at the end of our lesson with ivelisse monday i said something sarcastically in spanish and ivelisse was taken off-guard and just started laughing. and i've been able to be funny in every one of my lessons this week and it's throwing all my investigators off their mark, but it's been superbomb and i feel like i'm getting there with spanish, well i'll never really get there but better than week 1.

Hno Gamez (hard core Spaniard teacher of ours), sat in on one of our lessons with our investigator Edgar this week and surprise evaluated us. He had torn apart our other elders so when we finished them lesson we were prepped for the worst. First words that come out of his motuh "I don't understand how hermanas are perfect. That lesson was literally perfect, the only things I wrote down for critique was grammar. Hna McCullough you are the heart of this companionship, you're testimony is powerful. Hna Turner you are the courage, you just go face forward into every lesson and any topic. Hna Schwartz you are the brains, literally spanish is just in your brain. it's incredible how you just function and what's amazing hna schwartz is that you don't dominate in lessons but give your compas talking time which is super hard for missionaries like you to do. Amazing." i promise i don't tell this to toot my own horn, but how i needed to hear that and how true it really is! i feel like if anyone of us were missing our lessons wouldn't work, and it's sweet to hear that all of the work we've put into our companionship and fixing our teaching has actually improved and we're not blaspheming against the church in our lessons.

All in all, an awesome week. It's funny how the Wizard of Oz will literally haunt me for the rest of my life.

Peace and blessings,

Hna Schwartz

Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre

To my favorite father, Happy Birfday!=]

I know you probably aren't doing anything crazy, so I may have to send you something fromthe MTC to spice up your day;) (Can Rachel find anythign wild at the MTC store? You'll soon find out.) Here are people's addresses I still need: Poulters, Leah Boresow(FB her), Kim Whalen(FB her), Yates, Aunt Grace, UNcleRon, Roberts, Lakips, Draneys. I would try and get them myself but I physically can't=[. Sorry if my words get stuck but thiskeyboard sucks. Quick itemsof business: Got both your andmom's letters and I guess I didn't pack up that shirt or tights, it's all good. What's Berto's Southern address/is he alive? As for my patriarchal blessing, you don't needto send the original anywhere, just keep that at home. Oh and if you read these emails Berto, could you sendmethe lyrics from the GU album Little Microphone's song about "you could be so free if only we could start to see the beamsinour eyes...etc". Coocoo.

Haha, so Elder Gonzalez just asked me if I was writing to my sugardaddy hahaha. Long story short, my friend Scott Ogden sends me letters with his cologne on them and all the Advansados elders think he's my sugardaddy. Don't worry Faja, this email is all about you.

So there were a few awkward occurences this week, let's dive into them. I keep on having really random Harry Potter dreams.Last night I dreamed the President of the MTC was Dumbledore and sent me on a mission to London to get gold plates, but to get there I had to tame a dragon and had to deal with Ron being underneath a hardcore love potion. A hot mess. But everythingturnedout?

I have really gone too far with the elders this week. Completely on accidenttoo. We started for some reason making dinosaur sounds and movements and it all started because I did this raptor spit thing Ash taught me a while ago (which I'm obsessed with) and caused a bunch of districts to start congregating in hallsand being different dinosaurs. And yes, we got cautioned not to do that in the hallways anymore so now we do it at mealtime. Um, an Elder fromanother district printed out 3 pictures of me and wrote on the back of all them tellingmemy eyes were pretty and i was cool etc....i gave them to my companions and Soeur Reintjes. Another Elder haha askedme, "Hna. Schwartz, did you do your hair differently today?" and I said "Well, Elder Burke, I actually did it today, so I suppose so." and he got red in the face and said "oh". okay? But the main apostatic thing I did was interlace my fingers with Elder Gomez ON ACCIDENT. One day Elder Gomez came uop tomea couple weeks ago and toldme we werte best friends and best friends have a handshake, which resembled the handshake the Ninja Turtles give each other. Well, itwaslate and I was in a rush and wewere confused the other night and instead of giving a ninja turtle handshake, we accidently interlaced fingers for .3 seconds, but don't worry he's inColombia now.

Haha so wepray before and after every class as an entire class and the other day, and I stillhave no clue why I did this, as I gotonmy knees to pray I  put my hands together like how a Catholic would and looked up like I was praying to Jesus  in the air orsomething and then I realized what I was doing and I awkwardly moved my handsinto a fistish sort of shape, but after theprayer everyone asked me if I was sure I was inthe right place or if I needed to attend the Catholic church down the street. It was funnier in real life I suppose.

Alright, the most awkward moment ofmy week: Hna Turner and I were waiting for HnaMcCullough to go to the bathroom,andit was speak your language day (onlyspeak spanish), and I wasfatigued and had just watched Elder Rushton give our teacher a back massage. You have no idea how jealous I get when he does that and he does that to all the elders ALL the time. So, I was up against the wall and I said to Hna Turner "Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre!" (My body needs a man.) Right as I said this my super awkward teacher Hno Wood walks by me and makes eye contact with me for a good 5 seconds, and instead of making it funny moment he was awkward about it and I went down the hall in shame, not saying a word. Later on that day, I said "Toca mi cuerpo" (Touch my body) out loud in the middle of some of our elder friends, and Hno Painter comes by at that very moment and gives me a chastising look. Hno. Painter also found me yelling at a computer in Spanish the next day. Basically, whenever I am acting like a foolio Hno Painter is there to witness it and chastise me with his eyes.

Time is almost out, but this week we got a native speaker as an investigator and her name is Ivellise, she's catholic and is a gem! Oh my word she's so precious and I love her muchisimo and just love teaching her and beingher friend=]. My compas told me I'm aperfectionist and needto chillout, so that's my goal for this week.

I love you guys supermucho!

Hna Schwartz

*And a quick shout out to Eden Wen and a HAPPY 21 to Surbz=]=]=]=]=]*

It's been a hard day's night

And I been workin' like a dog Familia,

Happy Thursday!

Business first: Faja, thanks for sending my blessing, I can always count on you;). I am aware that you are sending my emails unedited, and you are apparently adding some words of wisdom from what my sources tell me. Could you send me a checkbook so I can budget my expenses please? Also, I am still waiting for my Shade shirts to be sent back to me( I re-sent them back for smaller sizes and diff colors) and I was wondering if you could call them and check up on that for me? Yes, you can still call me sweetie=]. Oh and everyone died over those jokes, gracias! Ma, uh cool thanks for coming to Utahrd and not sending me a package or any sort of love. NBD, I'm over it. AWESOME FOR DEANNE! let her know I love her and am so happy for her and her sealed famfam! Could you look in my room and find the long-sleeve blue shirt and black tights that I left and maybe send those to me to show me you care about me? Coo. Berto, what's your address at Southern? I have some letters you will definitely want to read.

Superbien, alright so I have been having some very vivid and odd dreams here at the MTC. The other night I had a dream Maxie and I were chilling on our front lawn and a leopard and some sort of fox-dog mix came and started hangin with us, and then we found them homes and Maxie and I found a plumber's truck and became plumbers for this one family who love George Foreman's and vegan food? Yeah, that's just a sampling of a normal one. It's kind of freaky that my compas know my little oddities now. Hna. Turner the other day said, "What's funny?" out of nowhere and I said "What is that crack making you say?" and she said "Your nostrils flared and they always flare when you're trying to be serious but think something's funny." Mouth dropped. Little did she know that I was thinking about something someone wrote me in a letter and was laughing in my head. It's creepy that she can read my mind. But that's what you get with a 24/7 compa. Oh, btw SISTER BELNAP AND SISTER REINTJES are on my floor and we party hardy (not really, I just merely jumped on Sis. Belnap and hugged Sis. Reitnjes for 8 hours). Dude, too legit. Oh, and Elder Colton and I just did laundry and chit-chatted just now=] He's so presh and is more like Jared everyday. Hilarious. I also got called to be a coordinating sister this week, but I'll talk more about that later on.

This is good. Haha, the other day one of our elders forgot the Lose Yourself Eminemem song and so me and Hna. Turner were talking about that in our room and Hna. McCullough says "Are you talking about the candy or the rapper?" and we lose it. Hard-core. And then Hna. Turner, trying to be funny and crunk says in an awkwardly slow ghetto voice, "My name is Mac N Cheesy and I get craaaaaazy." I LOSE IT. Like, I'm on the floor because it sounded like the worst rap in my entire life and it's the MTC. Oh, but it got better. Without missing a beat, I'm o n the floor gasping for breath and Hna. McCullough, with complete seriousness asks, "Is he a rapper too?" OH MY HOT SLAM.  I literally lost it for the rest of the day. I would find myself walking up stairs and Hna. Turner would say "I;m Mac N Cheesy" and I would literally fall on my face, on the stairs and be laughing for 5 mins without air. It was unreal and the highlight of my life.

19- year old boy mood swings are taking my to my wits ends. They have had literally 2 counseling sessions during class now and I am just like, "Sweet baby elders, companionships are hard, stop crying about it." You'd think that would be an Hermana problem right?

OKay, I love Spanish. I love teaching the gospel in Spanish. What a blessing to be able to make the gospel simple, sweet, and clear. Because there is no way I can get deep or super eloquent with the language, and it just let's the Holy Ghost teach our investigators like crazy and I just can't help but have a fatty ole smile on my face when I feel it happen. So bomb. We taught our teacher in English the other day and I blew. Hardcore. And it was because I wasn't relying on the Holy Ghost to help a sista out, and that experience was awesome because I realized I quite literally will never be successful if I, Hna Schwartz, try and teach people instead of letting the HG teach through me. Sorry if that was way preachy.

Anyhoo, I got called as a coordinating sister last Sunday and have been going through training this week. Basically a CS is a counselor/support system for all the Hermanas in a zone (a bunch of districts put together, it's kind of like a home ward). The other night Hna Simpson (the CS right now training me) made a passing comment about how she had experienced a miracle that day. It ended up turning into a really awesome "counseling?" session where she told me some stuff about her past and what she's been struggling with her in the MTC and I don't know where it came from, maybe it's all the years of receiving Dad's 3-4 hour long lectures, but I was able to listen and tell her the things she needed to hear. And I didn't even mind that she cried, I was actually more than okay with it. And I honestly felt such an amazing amount of love for her and I honestly felt her pain and I could feel her sense of relief. She told me she felt very impressed, that my name literally jumped off the page, when she chose me to fill her place because she knows that this is a position I need. I know that to be true as well. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to not be so uptight and rigid, but be able to really chill and show the new sisters who come into the MTC love and understanding and really care for them. I feel like I sound super fem right now, and I apologize for that, but it was honestly a really tender experience and I'm just grateful that the Lord knows each person on this earth and knows what they need and sends regular people, like Hna Simpson, to be ministering angels to others. Forgive me if I sound preachy, I don't mean it that way I just can't explain myself in English or Spanish anymore=] Literally can't speak a blessed word of any language fluently ha!

Time is out, but I love you and am loving being here, so don't worry be happy my fam,

Hna Schwartz

First Lady Schwartz

Why hello there family,

This week flew by, cray-cray how time works here. Anyhoo here are the thoughts of the week, hopefully they will be so exciting they will entice a letter or email from you;). Last week I went to a workshop and there was a box full of iPods. I saw them and immediately thought, "Satan?" Was super weirded out by them and they made me feel uncomfortable. Oh, it gets better. So, my teacher Hno. Barnard has these one-on-one coaching sessions with each person in my district to see how they're doing and if they have any concerns, get to know us better yada yada. For some reason I didn't put two and two together and so he asked me to come with him for our coaching session and I went and in my head was like "Wait, why companions aren't coming...." awkward. oh my word. I was legit freaking out, so sketchy my heart started beating fast. I am embarrassed to be writing this but I'm preparing you for what a freak I'm going to be when I come back from this mish mish. So we head down to find a room, but someone was in our room so we were standing outside, just me and this man, and he was trying to make small talk and i kept kicking the wall with my foot so I wouldn't have to look at him. Oh man, this is embarrassing. So, we get into the room and he closes it behind him. and we sit in 2 chairs across from one another and I am LEGIT freaking out right now. You don't understand, I haven't been alone with a man in what 3-4 weeks now? And have literally been glued to the hip of 2 other women for that same amount of time. So we do the interview and the whole time my heart rate is just off the charts, but I of course play it cool, I'm not so far gone. But when I got into the class it took me another 5-10 mins to calm down. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Oh my word that's embarassing, Lawdy help me!

On a lighter note, I have been deemed the First Lady in my district. It all came about because on Tuesdays and Sundays we have to wear our blazers and dress up for devotionals so I take the opportunity to really do it up. And the past couple of Devotionals I've matched Elder Barrett in a perfectly presidential way. Hna Turner always called me First Lady and I was being sarcastic and told her my one life goal was to become the youngest First Lady of the United States. So now everyone comments on my outfits everyday and i've turned into somewhat of a First Lady doll: yesterday I was First Lady at White House Brunch, and the day before I was First Lady playing croquet, and the day before I was First Lady at tea, the list goes on and on. Anyhoo, I have come to like the idea. Maybe that could be my new career goal...who needs to help social entr. organizations anyways right?

Every week I like to spice things up and I do a funny voice or something, and then that voice catches on like wildfire and becomes the theme for my district for the entire week. This week was New Jersey, thanks to me quoting Housewives of NJ. It was way funny when I did an English accent last week because I spoke Spanish in a proper British accent and if I do say so myself, I sounded ridiculous and made all the advanced Spanish kids give me weird looks. Speaking of advanced Spanish elders, all my volleyball friends left yesterday, so now I'm left friendless and all alone in this world. Don't cry for me Argentina.

I had a really cool experience 2 days ago: long story short Hna Wright needed to take Sis Skolla to the ER but she hadn't packed her bags and she was leaving for her mission in MO at 6 am the next morning. I told her I would pack her up, and she accepted my invitation and I recruited my sweet baby companions and we got to work. I am not very skilled at very many things, but I can confidently say I am a master packer. It's the Airline blood that runs so thick in our family;). I got her packed, organized, tidied up and underweight in under an hour, and then I got Hna. McCullough to make her bed (she's a master bed maker), and I  left one of the bags of Melene's cookies (oh yeah, Melene Goggins loves me btws;)) on her bed with a note saying "Breakfast of Champions", and then I left her notes on how I organized all her luggage and jazz. As I was packing I was just getting things done, going to work, but the second I walked back into my room, holy night child I felt a rush of absolute pleasure. It was this burning happiness and I haven't felt that in a while. I guess I haven't really served  unselflessly in a while. I LOVED that feeling and Hna Wright left a teary (she cried on it, not me, just to be clear) note in the morning about what charity we showed her yada yada, and while that was nice and all, that feeling was what made it memorable. I am so blessed to have had that opportunity, that wake up call to really forget myself. Really just get out there and serve to the best of my abilities. A lot of times I refrain from serving because I think it means writing a nice note or bringing someone cookies, but I think really serving is serving with charity, the pure love of Christ, in your heart. It's honestly desiring the well-being of others, it's desiring to make their loads a little lighter, their burdens a bit more bearable. It was awesome and from here on out, I'm going to figure out I'm going to focus on how I can better love people.

I love you mucho, if you could send me an English dictionary that would be swell. And if you could get me those people's addresses that also would be super helpful. J Mack, Ceese, Ash, or any friend who so desires to procrastinate their homework or chores, if you could dealelder me the lyrics to any (or all if you really love me) of the songs to Joseph Smith: A Nashville Tribute, I promise I will send you pictures that will def make your day=].

Les amo!

Hermana Schwartz