A Very MTC V-DAY

Oh familia,

Ma, you're cookies were bomb. I literally haven't tasted real flour, sugar, butter, and pink dye in centuries. The cookies came in one piece and the elders in my district literally devoured them in less than 5 seconds. Thanks for the loss of sleep I know you had to make them, they were superb! The only other business for today is I need the lakips, uncle ronl, aunt grace, etc (look at last email) addresses to send them letters. Shanks. is berto even getting these emails? if not, put him on the list and if he is text him 8 times today and tell him to contact me, whether it be by carrier pigeon or whatnot.

Alright, Vday got cray cray here at the MTC, or at least in my district. Elder Vazquez left 2 days, and 2 days ago he asked me if I could ship out a package for him because he was going to be gone(that's pretty normal for peeps to ship others stuff esp when they leave at 3 in the morn). I didn't fully understand why he was asking me of all people, but i said sure nbd. On Vday i go to my desk in our classroom and see a box. I figure it's elder vazquez's. It's open and I immediately smell a strong stench of cologne(one that is less than desirable) coming from it and see the box is decorated with hearts and there are different candies inside. On top of these candies is a letter that says cheesy things for each candy (ex. Hot Tamales, remind me of you because you're so hot, yada yada). Oh, i guess i should mention this box isn't for me it's for a different hermana here, one i don't know. just so ya know. Then in between the candies is a second letter and this one is equally decorated with hearts and cologne and basically is this elder saying how vday is his fav holiday and he's never been alone on it before and how if they both weren't missionaries he would tell her everyday how beautiful she is and how he's sorry he ever made her feel awkward and what a great missionary she's going to be. WHO ARE YOU? Long story short, he's a foolio for thinking i would ship that crap to anyone, much less an hermana here in the mtc. my district enjoyed the candies that reminded him of her eyes.

Alright last devo more or less changed my life. basically rocked my world and here is what it was all about "Turn outward, when others would turn in." What does that mean you might ask? Basically whenever we feel like being selfish, or mopey, or frustrated, angry, sad, hopeless, etc. turn outward and focus on others. If there's one thing i've learned while being on this mission it's that this mission is not about me. It's about the people in Mesa that i'm going to be serving. It's about helping them change their lives for the better and helping them find true joy and happiness and if i get annoyed with my companion i need to get over myself and see my companion as the person they truly are. See people for who they truly are and loving them regardless of their natural faults. Bomb.

Remember Ivelisse, the investigator who rocked my core last week? Holy schniekies. LOVE HER. our first lesson with her this week i'm committing her to pray to know if the things we are teaching her are true, and do you know what she says? "I know everything you've said is true, i know you're not lying to me. it;'s just all new especially coming from my catholic upbringing. but i know what you are telling me is true" WHAT THE FREUD!!!! and then our second lesson with her this week she brought us valentine's candy! she is golden. literally amazing. holy mackeral. and do you know what else has been sweet action this week? I think i'm finally being able to show my personality in spanish. at the end of our lesson with ivelisse monday i said something sarcastically in spanish and ivelisse was taken off-guard and just started laughing. and i've been able to be funny in every one of my lessons this week and it's throwing all my investigators off their mark, but it's been superbomb and i feel like i'm getting there with spanish, well i'll never really get there but better than week 1.

Hno Gamez (hard core Spaniard teacher of ours), sat in on one of our lessons with our investigator Edgar this week and surprise evaluated us. He had torn apart our other elders so when we finished them lesson we were prepped for the worst. First words that come out of his motuh "I don't understand how hermanas are perfect. That lesson was literally perfect, the only things I wrote down for critique was grammar. Hna McCullough you are the heart of this companionship, you're testimony is powerful. Hna Turner you are the courage, you just go face forward into every lesson and any topic. Hna Schwartz you are the brains, literally spanish is just in your brain. it's incredible how you just function and what's amazing hna schwartz is that you don't dominate in lessons but give your compas talking time which is super hard for missionaries like you to do. Amazing." i promise i don't tell this to toot my own horn, but how i needed to hear that and how true it really is! i feel like if anyone of us were missing our lessons wouldn't work, and it's sweet to hear that all of the work we've put into our companionship and fixing our teaching has actually improved and we're not blaspheming against the church in our lessons.

All in all, an awesome week. It's funny how the Wizard of Oz will literally haunt me for the rest of my life.

Peace and blessings,

Hna Schwartz

Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre

To my favorite father, Happy Birfday!=]

I know you probably aren't doing anything crazy, so I may have to send you something fromthe MTC to spice up your day;) (Can Rachel find anythign wild at the MTC store? You'll soon find out.) Here are people's addresses I still need: Poulters, Leah Boresow(FB her), Kim Whalen(FB her), Yates, Aunt Grace, UNcleRon, Roberts, Lakips, Draneys. I would try and get them myself but I physically can't=[. Sorry if my words get stuck but thiskeyboard sucks. Quick itemsof business: Got both your andmom's letters and I guess I didn't pack up that shirt or tights, it's all good. What's Berto's Southern address/is he alive? As for my patriarchal blessing, you don't needto send the original anywhere, just keep that at home. Oh and if you read these emails Berto, could you sendmethe lyrics from the GU album Little Microphone's song about "you could be so free if only we could start to see the beamsinour eyes...etc". Coocoo.

Haha, so Elder Gonzalez just asked me if I was writing to my sugardaddy hahaha. Long story short, my friend Scott Ogden sends me letters with his cologne on them and all the Advansados elders think he's my sugardaddy. Don't worry Faja, this email is all about you.

So there were a few awkward occurences this week, let's dive into them. I keep on having really random Harry Potter dreams.Last night I dreamed the President of the MTC was Dumbledore and sent me on a mission to London to get gold plates, but to get there I had to tame a dragon and had to deal with Ron being underneath a hardcore love potion. A hot mess. But everythingturnedout?

I have really gone too far with the elders this week. Completely on accidenttoo. We started for some reason making dinosaur sounds and movements and it all started because I did this raptor spit thing Ash taught me a while ago (which I'm obsessed with) and caused a bunch of districts to start congregating in hallsand being different dinosaurs. And yes, we got cautioned not to do that in the hallways anymore so now we do it at mealtime. Um, an Elder fromanother district printed out 3 pictures of me and wrote on the back of all them tellingmemy eyes were pretty and i was cool etc....i gave them to my companions and Soeur Reintjes. Another Elder haha askedme, "Hna. Schwartz, did you do your hair differently today?" and I said "Well, Elder Burke, I actually did it today, so I suppose so." and he got red in the face and said "oh". okay? But the main apostatic thing I did was interlace my fingers with Elder Gomez ON ACCIDENT. One day Elder Gomez came uop tomea couple weeks ago and toldme we werte best friends and best friends have a handshake, which resembled the handshake the Ninja Turtles give each other. Well, itwaslate and I was in a rush and wewere confused the other night and instead of giving a ninja turtle handshake, we accidently interlaced fingers for .3 seconds, but don't worry he's inColombia now.

Haha so wepray before and after every class as an entire class and the other day, and I stillhave no clue why I did this, as I gotonmy knees to pray I  put my hands together like how a Catholic would and looked up like I was praying to Jesus  in the air orsomething and then I realized what I was doing and I awkwardly moved my handsinto a fistish sort of shape, but after theprayer everyone asked me if I was sure I was inthe right place or if I needed to attend the Catholic church down the street. It was funnier in real life I suppose.

Alright, the most awkward moment ofmy week: Hna Turner and I were waiting for HnaMcCullough to go to the bathroom,andit was speak your language day (onlyspeak spanish), and I wasfatigued and had just watched Elder Rushton give our teacher a back massage. You have no idea how jealous I get when he does that and he does that to all the elders ALL the time. So, I was up against the wall and I said to Hna Turner "Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre!" (My body needs a man.) Right as I said this my super awkward teacher Hno Wood walks by me and makes eye contact with me for a good 5 seconds, and instead of making it funny moment he was awkward about it and I went down the hall in shame, not saying a word. Later on that day, I said "Toca mi cuerpo" (Touch my body) out loud in the middle of some of our elder friends, and Hno Painter comes by at that very moment and gives me a chastising look. Hno. Painter also found me yelling at a computer in Spanish the next day. Basically, whenever I am acting like a foolio Hno Painter is there to witness it and chastise me with his eyes.

Time is almost out, but this week we got a native speaker as an investigator and her name is Ivellise, she's catholic and is a gem! Oh my word she's so precious and I love her muchisimo and just love teaching her and beingher friend=]. My compas told me I'm aperfectionist and needto chillout, so that's my goal for this week.

I love you guys supermucho!

Hna Schwartz

*And a quick shout out to Eden Wen and a HAPPY 21 to Surbz=]=]=]=]=]*

It's been a hard day's night

And I been workin' like a dog Familia,

Happy Thursday!

Business first: Faja, thanks for sending my blessing, I can always count on you;). I am aware that you are sending my emails unedited, and you are apparently adding some words of wisdom from what my sources tell me. Could you send me a checkbook so I can budget my expenses please? Also, I am still waiting for my Shade shirts to be sent back to me( I re-sent them back for smaller sizes and diff colors) and I was wondering if you could call them and check up on that for me? Yes, you can still call me sweetie=]. Oh and everyone died over those jokes, gracias! Ma, uh cool thanks for coming to Utahrd and not sending me a package or any sort of love. NBD, I'm over it. AWESOME FOR DEANNE! let her know I love her and am so happy for her and her sealed famfam! Could you look in my room and find the long-sleeve blue shirt and black tights that I left and maybe send those to me to show me you care about me? Coo. Berto, what's your address at Southern? I have some letters you will definitely want to read.

Superbien, alright so I have been having some very vivid and odd dreams here at the MTC. The other night I had a dream Maxie and I were chilling on our front lawn and a leopard and some sort of fox-dog mix came and started hangin with us, and then we found them homes and Maxie and I found a plumber's truck and became plumbers for this one family who love George Foreman's and vegan food? Yeah, that's just a sampling of a normal one. It's kind of freaky that my compas know my little oddities now. Hna. Turner the other day said, "What's funny?" out of nowhere and I said "What is that crack making you say?" and she said "Your nostrils flared and they always flare when you're trying to be serious but think something's funny." Mouth dropped. Little did she know that I was thinking about something someone wrote me in a letter and was laughing in my head. It's creepy that she can read my mind. But that's what you get with a 24/7 compa. Oh, btw SISTER BELNAP AND SISTER REINTJES are on my floor and we party hardy (not really, I just merely jumped on Sis. Belnap and hugged Sis. Reitnjes for 8 hours). Dude, too legit. Oh, and Elder Colton and I just did laundry and chit-chatted just now=] He's so presh and is more like Jared everyday. Hilarious. I also got called to be a coordinating sister this week, but I'll talk more about that later on.

This is good. Haha, the other day one of our elders forgot the Lose Yourself Eminemem song and so me and Hna. Turner were talking about that in our room and Hna. McCullough says "Are you talking about the candy or the rapper?" and we lose it. Hard-core. And then Hna. Turner, trying to be funny and crunk says in an awkwardly slow ghetto voice, "My name is Mac N Cheesy and I get craaaaaazy." I LOSE IT. Like, I'm on the floor because it sounded like the worst rap in my entire life and it's the MTC. Oh, but it got better. Without missing a beat, I'm o n the floor gasping for breath and Hna. McCullough, with complete seriousness asks, "Is he a rapper too?" OH MY HOT SLAM.  I literally lost it for the rest of the day. I would find myself walking up stairs and Hna. Turner would say "I;m Mac N Cheesy" and I would literally fall on my face, on the stairs and be laughing for 5 mins without air. It was unreal and the highlight of my life.

19- year old boy mood swings are taking my to my wits ends. They have had literally 2 counseling sessions during class now and I am just like, "Sweet baby elders, companionships are hard, stop crying about it." You'd think that would be an Hermana problem right?

OKay, I love Spanish. I love teaching the gospel in Spanish. What a blessing to be able to make the gospel simple, sweet, and clear. Because there is no way I can get deep or super eloquent with the language, and it just let's the Holy Ghost teach our investigators like crazy and I just can't help but have a fatty ole smile on my face when I feel it happen. So bomb. We taught our teacher in English the other day and I blew. Hardcore. And it was because I wasn't relying on the Holy Ghost to help a sista out, and that experience was awesome because I realized I quite literally will never be successful if I, Hna Schwartz, try and teach people instead of letting the HG teach through me. Sorry if that was way preachy.

Anyhoo, I got called as a coordinating sister last Sunday and have been going through training this week. Basically a CS is a counselor/support system for all the Hermanas in a zone (a bunch of districts put together, it's kind of like a home ward). The other night Hna Simpson (the CS right now training me) made a passing comment about how she had experienced a miracle that day. It ended up turning into a really awesome "counseling?" session where she told me some stuff about her past and what she's been struggling with her in the MTC and I don't know where it came from, maybe it's all the years of receiving Dad's 3-4 hour long lectures, but I was able to listen and tell her the things she needed to hear. And I didn't even mind that she cried, I was actually more than okay with it. And I honestly felt such an amazing amount of love for her and I honestly felt her pain and I could feel her sense of relief. She told me she felt very impressed, that my name literally jumped off the page, when she chose me to fill her place because she knows that this is a position I need. I know that to be true as well. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to not be so uptight and rigid, but be able to really chill and show the new sisters who come into the MTC love and understanding and really care for them. I feel like I sound super fem right now, and I apologize for that, but it was honestly a really tender experience and I'm just grateful that the Lord knows each person on this earth and knows what they need and sends regular people, like Hna Simpson, to be ministering angels to others. Forgive me if I sound preachy, I don't mean it that way I just can't explain myself in English or Spanish anymore=] Literally can't speak a blessed word of any language fluently ha!

Time is out, but I love you and am loving being here, so don't worry be happy my fam,

Hna Schwartz

First Lady Schwartz

Why hello there family,

This week flew by, cray-cray how time works here. Anyhoo here are the thoughts of the week, hopefully they will be so exciting they will entice a letter or email from you;). Last week I went to a workshop and there was a box full of iPods. I saw them and immediately thought, "Satan?" Was super weirded out by them and they made me feel uncomfortable. Oh, it gets better. So, my teacher Hno. Barnard has these one-on-one coaching sessions with each person in my district to see how they're doing and if they have any concerns, get to know us better yada yada. For some reason I didn't put two and two together and so he asked me to come with him for our coaching session and I went and in my head was like "Wait, why companions aren't coming...." awkward. oh my word. I was legit freaking out, so sketchy my heart started beating fast. I am embarrassed to be writing this but I'm preparing you for what a freak I'm going to be when I come back from this mish mish. So we head down to find a room, but someone was in our room so we were standing outside, just me and this man, and he was trying to make small talk and i kept kicking the wall with my foot so I wouldn't have to look at him. Oh man, this is embarrassing. So, we get into the room and he closes it behind him. and we sit in 2 chairs across from one another and I am LEGIT freaking out right now. You don't understand, I haven't been alone with a man in what 3-4 weeks now? And have literally been glued to the hip of 2 other women for that same amount of time. So we do the interview and the whole time my heart rate is just off the charts, but I of course play it cool, I'm not so far gone. But when I got into the class it took me another 5-10 mins to calm down. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Oh my word that's embarassing, Lawdy help me!

On a lighter note, I have been deemed the First Lady in my district. It all came about because on Tuesdays and Sundays we have to wear our blazers and dress up for devotionals so I take the opportunity to really do it up. And the past couple of Devotionals I've matched Elder Barrett in a perfectly presidential way. Hna Turner always called me First Lady and I was being sarcastic and told her my one life goal was to become the youngest First Lady of the United States. So now everyone comments on my outfits everyday and i've turned into somewhat of a First Lady doll: yesterday I was First Lady at White House Brunch, and the day before I was First Lady playing croquet, and the day before I was First Lady at tea, the list goes on and on. Anyhoo, I have come to like the idea. Maybe that could be my new career goal...who needs to help social entr. organizations anyways right?

Every week I like to spice things up and I do a funny voice or something, and then that voice catches on like wildfire and becomes the theme for my district for the entire week. This week was New Jersey, thanks to me quoting Housewives of NJ. It was way funny when I did an English accent last week because I spoke Spanish in a proper British accent and if I do say so myself, I sounded ridiculous and made all the advanced Spanish kids give me weird looks. Speaking of advanced Spanish elders, all my volleyball friends left yesterday, so now I'm left friendless and all alone in this world. Don't cry for me Argentina.

I had a really cool experience 2 days ago: long story short Hna Wright needed to take Sis Skolla to the ER but she hadn't packed her bags and she was leaving for her mission in MO at 6 am the next morning. I told her I would pack her up, and she accepted my invitation and I recruited my sweet baby companions and we got to work. I am not very skilled at very many things, but I can confidently say I am a master packer. It's the Airline blood that runs so thick in our family;). I got her packed, organized, tidied up and underweight in under an hour, and then I got Hna. McCullough to make her bed (she's a master bed maker), and I  left one of the bags of Melene's cookies (oh yeah, Melene Goggins loves me btws;)) on her bed with a note saying "Breakfast of Champions", and then I left her notes on how I organized all her luggage and jazz. As I was packing I was just getting things done, going to work, but the second I walked back into my room, holy night child I felt a rush of absolute pleasure. It was this burning happiness and I haven't felt that in a while. I guess I haven't really served  unselflessly in a while. I LOVED that feeling and Hna Wright left a teary (she cried on it, not me, just to be clear) note in the morning about what charity we showed her yada yada, and while that was nice and all, that feeling was what made it memorable. I am so blessed to have had that opportunity, that wake up call to really forget myself. Really just get out there and serve to the best of my abilities. A lot of times I refrain from serving because I think it means writing a nice note or bringing someone cookies, but I think really serving is serving with charity, the pure love of Christ, in your heart. It's honestly desiring the well-being of others, it's desiring to make their loads a little lighter, their burdens a bit more bearable. It was awesome and from here on out, I'm going to figure out I'm going to focus on how I can better love people.

I love you mucho, if you could send me an English dictionary that would be swell. And if you could get me those people's addresses that also would be super helpful. J Mack, Ceese, Ash, or any friend who so desires to procrastinate their homework or chores, if you could dealelder me the lyrics to any (or all if you really love me) of the songs to Joseph Smith: A Nashville Tribute, I promise I will send you pictures that will def make your day=].

Les amo!

Hermana Schwartz

Rachel's 3rd Email

Hey fam,

There have been some IT mishaps with this email, so this one is gonna be a tad bit more concise due to time. Let's get to it: I need the addresses to the following people so I can mail them Thank You cards [Poulters, Hughes, Uncle Ron, Aunt Grace, Kim Whalen(FB stalk her please for the address), Yates, Coltons, Draneys, Roberts, Lakips, Lichliters, Boresows(FB stalk Lead cause she's living at home now), Stephen Feinberg, Surabhi]. 2nd item of business: can you please send me a check-book so I can budget my transactions? Yes, I got my driver's license thank you! And Berto, can you send me a flashdrive thingy so I can upload my pics onto it? Faja, could you hook me up with some ear plugs from work? Ma, you need to mail me my patriarchal blessing, I don't have access to a printer here. Cool beans.

So I got a letter from Batman Dark Knight. Dad, my elders literally squealed with joy when they read I got that and now want Batman trivia. If you have a spare moment in your day, I would appreciate you humbling them with your intense knowledge of Batman and/or other superheros and accompanying villians. I can officially say the love/hate relationship with the MTC has come to a close and love has won out once again. Funny story, remember how I said last email I didn't have a teacher? Well, the investigator (the guy interested in the church) we were teaching, Cesar, turned out to be Hermano Barnard, our teacher. On top of it, one of the guys I thought was a substitute was our actual teacher so now I feel bad for making him feel awkward, Hermano Wood is his name. Haha my compa Hna. McCullough is an artist lady and she drew a picture of Cesar(really Hno. Wood) on a dry erase board and we have it hanging above the chalkboard in our classroom, so when Hno. Barnard came in, he was creeped out and saw his mirror image, like a shrine. His picture is still there. But Holy Mackeral, what a difference in having a teacher! I have honestly learned so much in the past couple of days and I believe a major part is because we have teachers, who guide us as to what we need to do. Weird concept, I know.

So, we play these games during class sometimes. Okay, maybe they're not games, but maybe I make them into fun competitions. So we get into these friendly competitions and I dominate. Straight up. And it's funny because my entire district didn't realize who competitive I was and apparently they noticed that my nostrils flare when I get really competitive (my game face) and when I try to be serious but want to laugh at something. When you're with people 24/7, they notice curiosities like that.

Things I learned about myself this week. I am an impatient person. And I get frustrated easily which stems from me being impatient. I have never really considered this as a characteristic trait of myself before, but lo and behold I feel like that is the only thing I have been challenged with this week. I guess I'm a bit intense when it comes to obeying the laws here at the MTC. If we're supposed to be having Spanish language study for an hour I get frustrated when my district goofs off with the Advanced Class. I become impatient with my hermanas when they consistently need to use the restroom and make us 5 minutes late to class. Little things like that, but goodness maybe I need to chill out. Anyhoo, that's something I'm going to work on this week is how to be a patient person. I feel like that may be something good to learn.

Speaking of South Africa, I'm not going to say I'm totally cool with the fact you guys are ditching me to go to South Africa for the summer, but whateves, I've got hook ups here in the MTC. The first day during orientation this guy from South Africa sat behind me and I showed him my journal I got from there and he showed me this big bible holder from there and I said that's way cool and we talked about where he lived (all over, he was in the Cape, Joberg, Durban, etc.) and where we visited and he gave me his binder thing! Super cool! So Elder Howden and I became fast friends and we "hang out" whenever we run into each other. Anyways, his sweet grammy is going to send me Chikree and Rooibos tea! And Elder Howden gave me that Aero chocolate and Fruit Pastales. Oh, how I love South Africa. Oh, and he knows Brother Gorman! Small world.

My apostate act of the week: I sort of halfway hugged an elder? Elder Chang (one of my BYUSA presidents) saw me after devotional and was like "We need to get a picture together cause I go to China tomorrow!" So I jump into action, threw my arm around his shoulders, we took a sweet MySpace photo, and then afterwards we realized I was basically on his back and touching him inappropriately and he said "Don't worry, no one will ever know. I'll hide the evidence." My other apostate act: I have converted my district into some ghetto/black woman hood. I started talking hood a few weeks ago and it has caught like wildfire. The best is when Elder Lane (white boy to the max), does a perfect angry black woman. He has the crazy eyes and everything, it kills me. Haha, My comps and I had a breaking point the other day and I found myself on the stairs of a hallway laughing my fool head off. So, we keepin it fresh hurr in da MTC.

Awesome about Deanne, sorry to confuse you with all the, and I quote, "lovey dovey stuff". Sorry, I don't know what came over me. It must be the food, which gets grosser by the day. But it's okay. As for breaking me out, here are some plans I've concocted: golf cart, send extra badge to Cici and have her walk in and take my palce, run to my friend's house who lives by the temple on temple walks, make myself seriously ill and get transported to the ER. Haha JK! I love it remember?

Anyways, that's about all.

I like you,

Hna. Schwartz

Hermana Schwartz's second email, wherein she tells an elder she will eat his face.

Que pasa familia!!!

Here is my address: Sister Rachel Schwartz, MTC Mailboz #127, AZ-MESA 0306, 2005 N 900 E, Provo, UT, 84604-1793. But honestly using DearElder.com is way easier for them to write and send letters and it's gratis (free)=].

How are Maxie and Princess doing? I shared my talent as making hemp dog leashes in Spanish the other day, but I'm pretty sure I said something different because everyone gave me weird looks. How was the New Year? Did Mom cry because of me? Oh, could you por favor copy my patriarchal blessing and send it to me, I forgots it.

Where to start: my district is so precious. All the Elders are so different from one another and absolutely hilarious in their own quirky ways it slays me. We still don't have a teacher, which has kind of been cool because we get the substitutes absolute best pieces of knowledge. My little elders have a major man crush on Brother Painter, a teacher here which is hilarious because he actually is friends with Heidi Klomp, haha. Speaking of hilarity. I find myself being more and more amused by the simple things in life here at the MTC: my companion falling down 3 stairs (laughed my head off), changing the words to songs to have a gospel message in Spanish, Elder Mack calling a 4 ft nothing elder the Keebler elf, and various other pecularities. We have to do cleaning service (yes Ma, they force me to clean here) at like 6 in the morning on Tuesdays and so while we clean I told my companions to choose songs and I would throw down a beat. I don't know how to beat box, but by the end of these 10 weeks I promise you I will be off da chain, at least as off da chain as a sister can get. I have made many lovely friends here in the MTC, most of them are the advanced Spanish elders who "baptized" me into their district. We were playing volleyball the other day and Elder Pesantes always spikes the ball on my head when I'm at the net, however this time I completely owned him. Straight up. And then later on I accidently hit a ball in his face when I was trying to pass it to him. But they slay me! I have had some problems following an important and very basic rule here at the MTC: I find myself accidently inappropriately touching elders constantly. I don't even realize I do it until I get heckled. And I call them inappropriate names sometimes too. For example, we get to leave the prison walls of the MTC every Sunday to walk around the Provo Temple (literally cannot describe the liberation I felt. It was as if I had been freed from the bonds of slavery. Please note I am not equtating serving a mission with slavery, but I can assume it would be the same sentiments.) Anyhoo, on our walk, it was Fast Sunday and Elder Rushton in my district asked me how hungry I was and I said something along the lines of "So hungry I could eat your face." But in Spanish, that is super sexual and inappropriate, and I assume it;s not the best thing to say in english either. Anyways, that is an example of something that happens on a regular basis for me. But, that's me! Always a shocker;)

There are so major health issues here in the MTC. Just in my room alone, 2 hermanas have mono and one has been throwing up for the past week. I have heard of 3 sisters getting their gall-bladders taken out because of the fat in the food here (don't worry, I stay away from all processed foods), and another sister's gums have started receding. I don't know about the elders and infirmities but sisters are falling left and right. I'm a-okay and I'm pretty sure it's because I refused to get a flu shot. Voodoo. Elders always tell me that days here seem like weeks in the MTC, and it is so weird and true. It's the most psycho time warp ever. Each day feels like a week, and then the weeks just fly by. I don't even know what year or month it is. For NYE we celebrated with glo-in the dark bracelets and some chips and salsa and then went to bed at 10:30 sharp. Woot woot! Sorry if I make the MTC sound awful, it's really not at all and I am coming to more love it in this weird love/hate relationship I have with it currently.

This week I discovered something about myself: I am so dumb, fo real. I have no clue why I thought that going on a mission was going to be easy. I literally am so dumb, but I am so grateful for being humbled this past week. We had some amazing talks given in a mission conference on Sunday, but for me the message that stuck out the most was found in Psalms 115:19? i don't remember exactly but it said something along the line of: "And I planted my feet and turned the other way." Basically, the message was that this mission can change your life if you let it. You are freed from your past and you can start afresh and be the person you are meant to be. There is no one, nor nothing keeping you from reaching your full potential except yourself. I have been praying a lot lately about that. Who is it that I want to be? Who is it that I am meant to be? It has been so incredible how simple my prayers have been and how rich the blessings I have received from them. The Lord is helping me to change and soften my heart. He is helping me to remember the person I have been in the past and is helping me to realize the person that lies ahead of me. Dad, I am so grateful for your example of always being an hour early instead of 5 mins late. You were teaching me that time is important and is a way we show our love. I am on the Lord's time right now, and while it seems long or short or whatever, I am BEYOND grateful to be able to show Him my devoption my love for him through dedicating myself, consecrating my time and talents and showing Him I'm serious about this work. I hope to never waste a minute.

Let me know how life is going on the homefront. I love you all more than you know=]

Hna. Schwartz

Rachel's first email

Hola familia!

FYI, I'm alive. These have been the most craycray (remind me to stop using slang, that's a mish rule I am having problems with), what 3? 4? days of my life. But, it's all good. I feel like I've finally landed on my feet today, so hallelujah for that. I would tell you my schedule, but I still have no clue what it actually is being the first week is apparently way different from the upcoming ones. But in a nutshell, I've been studying! Actually, you should call me Maestra Schwartz instead of Hermana Schwartz being I've been teaching my district (me, my 2 companions *I'm in a three-some*, and 4 baby elders) Spanish since day 1. I'm in intermediate Spanish btw. But teaching has been a blessing because it's been a good refresher on grammar and vocab and it's nice to loosen up my tongue. I'll briefly tell you about what the lo-down has been being there are elders staring me down (limited amount of computers): the MTC I've come to find as being a mixture of Hogwarts, the "I Want You/She's So Heavy" scene in Across the Universe. Sorry, my thoughts are jumbled so I'm jumping over the place: I got picked up by my friend Hermana Jenny McKay (she hosted me, basically showed me around on my first day)! SUPER FUN! Here's a list of all the lovely people I've seen whilst here: Elder SamSam Gallegos, Elder Justin Mack, Sister Winters, Brother Sturgess, a guy from my BYU ward, a guy apparently from my D&C class, Sister Abraham, Brother Archibald, Elder Chang, and a Sister Ruiz. I get to say night to Elder Gallegos (Olivia's brother) it seems every night and watch Elder Mack (JMack's broseph) eat, so good times=]. I am a blessed girl, my companions are gold. Seriously so perfect for me. Super kind and accomodating and willing to do whatever and just all around sweet. Their names are Hna. Turner and McCullough (from SAn Diego and Idaho going to Pocatello Visitor's Center- funny story she went to BYUI and said she'd never returned and now she's going on her mission there, and Tampa, FL). Crap I have 9 mins, didn't realize this was timed. Anyhoo, I still don't feel like I'm here on a mission, I kind of feel like I'm a teacher who knows jack and an observant who knows even less, so maybe one day it'll hit me=]. I think the thing that has hit me most since being here is that these 19-year old boys are babies! They are so precious and they have no clue (along with myself) what the deal is, but what is impressive is that they're getting their acts together and going through whatever this is. I honestly have a completely different level of respect for return missionaries. Hot slam this mission stuff is freakin tough. Oh btw, Faja, remember how you bought me volleyball knee-pads for bball because I ate the floor all the time? Yeah, well I am now sacrificing my body for the better good of volleyball=]. Please don't send knee-pads. I don't know if this email makes any sense or sounds depressing or exciting or whatnot, but just know that I am super grateful to be here, I can't think of anything else I'd rather be tackling in life right now, I'm being humbled a tonizzle and I love you guys!

Peace and Blessings,

Hna. Schwartz