Thursday, February 16, 2012


Oh familia,

Ma, you're cookies were bomb. I literally haven't tasted real flour, sugar, butter, and pink dye in centuries. The cookies came in one piece and the elders in my district literally devoured them in less than 5 seconds. Thanks for the loss of sleep I know you had to make them, they were superb! The only other business for today is I need the lakips, uncle ronl, aunt grace, etc (look at last email) addresses to send them letters. Shanks. is berto even getting these emails? if not, put him on the list and if he is text him 8 times today and tell him to contact me, whether it be by carrier pigeon or whatnot.

Alright, Vday got cray cray here at the MTC, or at least in my district. Elder Vazquez left 2 days, and 2 days ago he asked me if I could ship out a package for him because he was going to be gone(that's pretty normal for peeps to ship others stuff esp when they leave at 3 in the morn). I didn't fully understand why he was asking me of all people, but i said sure nbd. On Vday i go to my desk in our classroom and see a box. I figure it's elder vazquez's. It's open and I immediately smell a strong stench of cologne(one that is less than desirable) coming from it and see the box is decorated with hearts and there are different candies inside. On top of these candies is a letter that says cheesy things for each candy (ex. Hot Tamales, remind me of you because you're so hot, yada yada). Oh, i guess i should mention this box isn't for me it's for a different hermana here, one i don't know. just so ya know. Then in between the candies is a second letter and this one is equally decorated with hearts and cologne and basically is this elder saying how vday is his fav holiday and he's never been alone on it before and how if they both weren't missionaries he would tell her everyday how beautiful she is and how he's sorry he ever made her feel awkward and what a great missionary she's going to be. WHO ARE YOU? Long story short, he's a foolio for thinking i would ship that crap to anyone, much less an hermana here in the mtc. my district enjoyed the candies that reminded him of her eyes.

Alright last devo more or less changed my life. basically rocked my world and here is what it was all about "Turn outward, when others would turn in." What does that mean you might ask? Basically whenever we feel like being selfish, or mopey, or frustrated, angry, sad, hopeless, etc. turn outward and focus on others. If there's one thing i've learned while being on this mission it's that this mission is not about me. It's about the people in Mesa that i'm going to be serving. It's about helping them change their lives for the better and helping them find true joy and happiness and if i get annoyed with my companion i need to get over myself and see my companion as the person they truly are. See people for who they truly are and loving them regardless of their natural faults. Bomb.

Remember Ivelisse, the investigator who rocked my core last week? Holy schniekies. LOVE HER. our first lesson with her this week i'm committing her to pray to know if the things we are teaching her are true, and do you know what she says? "I know everything you've said is true, i know you're not lying to me. it;'s just all new especially coming from my catholic upbringing. but i know what you are telling me is true" WHAT THE FREUD!!!! and then our second lesson with her this week she brought us valentine's candy! she is golden. literally amazing. holy mackeral. and do you know what else has been sweet action this week? I think i'm finally being able to show my personality in spanish. at the end of our lesson with ivelisse monday i said something sarcastically in spanish and ivelisse was taken off-guard and just started laughing. and i've been able to be funny in every one of my lessons this week and it's throwing all my investigators off their mark, but it's been superbomb and i feel like i'm getting there with spanish, well i'll never really get there but better than week 1.

Hno Gamez (hard core Spaniard teacher of ours), sat in on one of our lessons with our investigator Edgar this week and surprise evaluated us. He had torn apart our other elders so when we finished them lesson we were prepped for the worst. First words that come out of his motuh "I don't understand how hermanas are perfect. That lesson was literally perfect, the only things I wrote down for critique was grammar. Hna McCullough you are the heart of this companionship, you're testimony is powerful. Hna Turner you are the courage, you just go face forward into every lesson and any topic. Hna Schwartz you are the brains, literally spanish is just in your brain. it's incredible how you just function and what's amazing hna schwartz is that you don't dominate in lessons but give your compas talking time which is super hard for missionaries like you to do. Amazing." i promise i don't tell this to toot my own horn, but how i needed to hear that and how true it really is! i feel like if anyone of us were missing our lessons wouldn't work, and it's sweet to hear that all of the work we've put into our companionship and fixing our teaching has actually improved and we're not blaspheming against the church in our lessons.

All in all, an awesome week. It's funny how the Wizard of Oz will literally haunt me for the rest of my life.

Peace and blessings,

Hna Schwartz

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre

To my favorite father, Happy Birfday!=]

I know you probably aren't doing anything crazy, so I may have to send you something fromthe MTC to spice up your day;) (Can Rachel find anythign wild at the MTC store? You'll soon find out.) Here are people's addresses I still need: Poulters, Leah Boresow(FB her), Kim Whalen(FB her), Yates, Aunt Grace, UNcleRon, Roberts, Lakips, Draneys. I would try and get them myself but I physically can't=[. Sorry if my words get stuck but thiskeyboard sucks. Quick itemsof business: Got both your andmom's letters and I guess I didn't pack up that shirt or tights, it's all good. What's Berto's Southern address/is he alive? As for my patriarchal blessing, you don't needto send the original anywhere, just keep that at home. Oh and if you read these emails Berto, could you sendmethe lyrics from the GU album Little Microphone's song about "you could be so free if only we could start to see the beamsinour eyes...etc". Coocoo.

Haha, so Elder Gonzalez just asked me if I was writing to my sugardaddy hahaha. Long story short, my friend Scott Ogden sends me letters with his cologne on them and all the Advansados elders think he's my sugardaddy. Don't worry Faja, this email is all about you.

So there were a few awkward occurences this week, let's dive into them. I keep on having really random Harry Potter dreams.Last night I dreamed the President of the MTC was Dumbledore and sent me on a mission to London to get gold plates, but to get there I had to tame a dragon and had to deal with Ron being underneath a hardcore love potion. A hot mess. But everythingturnedout?

I have really gone too far with the elders this week. Completely on accidenttoo. We started for some reason making dinosaur sounds and movements and it all started because I did this raptor spit thing Ash taught me a while ago (which I'm obsessed with) and caused a bunch of districts to start congregating in hallsand being different dinosaurs. And yes, we got cautioned not to do that in the hallways anymore so now we do it at mealtime. Um, an Elder fromanother district printed out 3 pictures of me and wrote on the back of all them tellingmemy eyes were pretty and i was cool etc....i gave them to my companions and Soeur Reintjes. Another Elder haha askedme, "Hna. Schwartz, did you do your hair differently today?" and I said "Well, Elder Burke, I actually did it today, so I suppose so." and he got red in the face and said "oh". okay? But the main apostatic thing I did was interlace my fingers with Elder Gomez ON ACCIDENT. One day Elder Gomez came uop tomea couple weeks ago and toldme we werte best friends and best friends have a handshake, which resembled the handshake the Ninja Turtles give each other. Well, itwaslate and I was in a rush and wewere confused the other night and instead of giving a ninja turtle handshake, we accidently interlaced fingers for .3 seconds, but don't worry he's inColombia now.

Haha so wepray before and after every class as an entire class and the other day, and I stillhave no clue why I did this, as I gotonmy knees to pray I  put my hands together like how a Catholic would and looked up like I was praying to Jesus  in the air orsomething and then I realized what I was doing and I awkwardly moved my handsinto a fistish sort of shape, but after theprayer everyone asked me if I was sure I was inthe right place or if I needed to attend the Catholic church down the street. It was funnier in real life I suppose.

Alright, the most awkward moment ofmy week: Hna Turner and I were waiting for HnaMcCullough to go to the bathroom,andit was speak your language day (onlyspeak spanish), and I wasfatigued and had just watched Elder Rushton give our teacher a back massage. You have no idea how jealous I get when he does that and he does that to all the elders ALL the time. So, I was up against the wall and I said to Hna Turner "Mi cuerpo necesita un hombre!" (My body needs a man.) Right as I said this my super awkward teacher Hno Wood walks by me and makes eye contact with me for a good 5 seconds, and instead of making it funny moment he was awkward about it and I went down the hall in shame, not saying a word. Later on that day, I said "Toca mi cuerpo" (Touch my body) out loud in the middle of some of our elder friends, and Hno Painter comes by at that very moment and gives me a chastising look. Hno. Painter also found me yelling at a computer in Spanish the next day. Basically, whenever I am acting like a foolio Hno Painter is there to witness it and chastise me with his eyes.

Time is almost out, but this week we got a native speaker as an investigator and her name is Ivellise, she's catholic and is a gem! Oh my word she's so precious and I love her muchisimo and just love teaching her and beingher friend=]. My compas told me I'm aperfectionist and needto chillout, so that's my goal for this week.

I love you guys supermucho!

Hna Schwartz

*And a quick shout out to Eden Wen and a HAPPY 21 to Surbz=]=]=]=]=]*